Are We Using Social Media, or Are They Using Us?

From Digital Profiling to the Economy of Inadequacy

It is a question we should ask ourselves every time we open an app on our phones. Not because we should reject technology or long for a return to the past, but because we need to understand who really controls the invisible architecture of the digital world—and for what purpose.

Today, the digital ecosystem is not governed by nonprofit organizations or institutions devoted to the common good, but by large publicly traded corporations driven by a very clear objective: maximizing profit. That profit no longer comes simply from selling us a product; it increasingly depends on influencing our economic and behavioral choices by surrounding us with a constant flow of stimuli, models, aspirations, and fears. This is not just targeted advertising—it is the continuous promotion of lifestyles to embrace and social bubbles in which to identify ourselves.

In this new landscape, the real product is no longer the object we purchase, but our perception of adequacy. We are subtly encouraged to believe that there is a “right” social model—modern, fashionable, desirable—and that anyone who falls outside of it is somehow behind or inadequate. What is being sold is not merely a pair of shoes, a smartphone, or a vacation, but the idea that without those shoes, that phone, or that destination, we somehow fail to meet the expectations of our reference group. In other words, what is increasingly being sold today is inadequacy itself: a sense of lack that pushes us to fill the gap by buying, clicking, and staying connected.

This mechanism relies on one key element: continuous profiling. Every action we take online leaves traces that are collected, stored, and connected to one another. Searches, likes, comments, videos watched, and the amount of time spent on specific content all contribute to building an extremely detailed digital identity—often more coherent and readable than the one we present in the physical world. Yet data collection does not stop at the screen of a computer or smartphone.

There is an example that has become familiar to many people. We are talking with a friend about something that interests us—a product we are considering buying, a trip we are planning, or a change we are thinking about making. Our phone is nearby, and a social media app is running in the background. A short time later, we scroll through our feed and encounter advertisements or content related to that very topic. Coincidence? Many find it difficult to believe, especially when it seems to happen repeatedly. Whatever the underlying technical mechanisms may be, the result is clear: our activities, interactions, and behaviors become potential sources of data.

When we accept the terms and conditions of a social media application, we often grant extensive permissions: access to our photo gallery, microphone, and sometimes even continuous location tracking. We are not always asked to manually select which photos to share; once permission is granted, entire libraries of images may become accessible to automated analysis systems. The same principle applies to other forms of digital access: information that appears harmless in isolation can become highly valuable when combined with other data.

The key concepts of the modern digital era are profiling and data collection: gathering as much information as possible about every user, at every possible moment. Age, interests, purchasing habits, relationships, political and religious beliefs, psychological vulnerabilities—everything can become a variable within a predictive model. Based on that model, increasingly personalized content and social norms are proposed to us, not merely to satisfy our preferences, but to shape them, anticipate them, and direct them.

The opening question therefore returns with renewed force: are we using social media, or are they using us?

The answer is not black and white. Social media offers genuine opportunities for connection, information, work, and creativity. Yet ignoring the other side of the coin means voluntarily surrendering pieces of our autonomy to systems designed to guide—often invisibly—our decisions. To be truly modern today does not mean conforming to the model presented to us; it means developing critical awareness. It means understanding that every click is data, and that every piece of data contributes to defining the boundaries within which we will be encouraged to remain.